I woke one morning this week and was relieved, "Whew, no baby in that dream," but no, I was wrong. Right at the end of my dream there was suddenly a baby laying on a bench. I thought it was dead, it looked dead. I looked closer and it opened its eyes.
If you don't know the history of my recurring dream, and you care (important distinction), read this post. [Quick recap--I've had several, well, okay, a majorly huge amount, of dreams involving a baby in need of serious nurturing. I read an interpretation of the dream in a book on writing where the author talks about how the baby is our creative selves. Yay, I thought. I only need to keep plugging away on my novel and the "baby" will be happy and more importantly, it will be ALIVE.]
I updated the whole dream situation in a July blog post as Guest Blogger at LDSWritersBlogck.
Here's part of that post: I've had several baby dreams since I discovered Ms. Tiberghien's interpretation, including one where I even named the baby--definitely a good sign when you consider the baby being my creative self--and another where I actually gave birth to the baby. That one got me excited. It meant I had come so far--no longer was I finding a baby neglected and barely alive, but I actually gave birth to it. I was giving life to my creativity.
I really wish I had written down all the dreams because it's been quite the baby/creative-self journey. The two most recent installments had totally different tones, though. The first was wonderful. I dreamed I brought the baby in and set it in a bassinet. It barely fit, but the baby seemed okay. The latest dream, though . . . not good. I had to change the baby and it was making huge messes all over. I couldn't do anything to stop it. I guess these last two indicate where I'm at in my creative writing journey. I've nurtured the baby/creative-self by writing my novel. Now I'm in revisions. And it's a mess.
Okay, that was then...this is now. I have had 6 (COUNT THEM...6!) baby dreams in the past two weeks. I'm getting a little scared. I'm beginning to think it's not book therapy I need (reference to earlier blog post), but actual therapy. Why are these babies so relentlessly appearing in my dreams?!? :/ I'm working on my novel, okay slowly, but surely, and I let some days pass without writing (I know, shame on me), and there's been vacations and summer in general, but c'mon!
One of the dreams was good. I came in and saw my baby and I was so excited. He was as darling as could be (looked a lot like my youngest son as a baby) and I secretly watched him for a moment because I knew if he saw me he would want me and then the person holding him would have to give him up. Then I finally took him and promptly woke up.
Last night I dreamed of twins and it was horrible. I took twins from some kids who were trying to come to my daughter's birthday party, though they were not invited. I was worried the kids (who had pulled up in a truck but were clearly too young to drive) couldn't care for the babies, so my daughter and I took them with us to buy items for the party. As in most dreams, things go crazy and you somehow never accomplish what you need to, so we just couldn't get the party stuff. We tried a couple of stores, but were unsuccessful. Somehow one baby was misplaced and I still don't know what happened to it. The other was strapped in the car seat, but needed serious attention. In truth, it was dying, but I would not stop because I had these other things to do.
We finally decided to go home and give up on buying anything because the party guests had arrived and my older daughter was entertaining them with games, but didn't know how long that would last. Of course, we could not get home. Everywhere we went was a dead end or just circled around endlessly, but I would not stop to help the baby. I had to get home and I told myself I would call 911 and get help for it as soon as we got there.
Like I said, it's a little scary. I'm wondering if there's some kind of time limit out there in the universe and I need to set aside some (more) things and get this novel done or the "baby" will die and not be revived. So far in the dreams the babies do live.
Well, I guess there's that one twin I can't account for.