Friday, October 5, 2012

NEW, REVISED (in 55 minutes or less): THE QUERY

IDEAL HIGH
YA Contemporary
75,000 words




Query:

 A summer’s worth of mourning is not nearly enough after a suspicious fire kills several of Taryn's classmates at the end of junior year. Now her only plan is to resign as vice president-elect and get her senior year over with as quickly and privately as possible. Way too soon she’s compelled to come out from under her paisley comforter to take her late boyfriend's place as student body president. It seems the only way to fix what’s broken at Ideal High.

If in-school rivalries and an old-school principal aren't enough, she's forced to deal with former best friend, Chelsea, and all her anxiety over the fire. Throw in a hot cowboy who, unfortunately, only wants to talk about the tragedy and it’s not long before Taryn is wondering why she dragged herself from the safety of her warm bed. At least there her mascara could run in private.

When Chelsea goes from head-cheerleader-popular to the lowest ranks of the bullied, Taryn must decide whether risking her pride and hard-won status is worth facing both the truth about the tragedy and the possibility that Chelsea needs a true friend. Doing so could mean Ideal High finally lives up to its name.

First 150 Words:

Taryn forced a glance at the pull-down screen behind her and was sorry she had. Whose idea was it to broadcast the super-sized faces of the dead to the far corners of the school's auditorium? Everybody knew they were gone. Why emphasize the obvious even for the sake of a memorial? And why no rain on this joyless day? Never a good Texas thunderstorm when you needed one. 

Instead, light poured through the ribbon of windows high along the back wall, criss-crossing the podium where she stood. Leaned was more like it. She squinted at the sheet of paper in front of her, trying to make out the first name. Not that it mattered. She knew the list by heart.

“Ashley Benton.” When she finally focused through the glare to speak into the microphone, the name echoed across the vast room.

All eyes riveted on the screen as Taryn pictured the name and the face heading straight to the heart of each student, parent, faculty member, and community leader standing at attention.

The news from the GUTGAA Contest is that I am IN! I am one of 25 pitches (consisting of a query and first 150 words of the manuscript as seen above) to advance to the next round, the round where small press editors read the pitches and decide if they want to ask for more pages or even full manuscripts.

I was thinking I had most of the day to rework my query after receiving some great feedback online and from my writing chapter, but that pesky time difference caught up with me. When Ms. Barnhart, the contest host, says 3:00 PM EASTERN STANDARD TIME, that means if you live in Arizona you gotta get crackalackin' well before noon. My first 150 stayed as is, but the query got a quick overhaul just to clarify a few things. 

Stay tuned next week to see what comes of all this mayhem...
#holdingbreathandcrossingfingers. Oh, and #prayinglotsandlotsofpraying.

http://deanabarnhart.blogspot.com/2012/10/finalists-and-prizes.html I'm in the YA Contemporary and YA Historical category, or go straight here...http://julianalbrandt.com/2012/10/gutgaa-pitch-contest-winners-other-news/


 

4 comments:

Julie Wallace said...

good luck Val. It looks good.

Valerie Ipson said...

Thanks, Julie.

Barbara Watson said...

Hope some great things come of this for you! It's something else, isn't it? Putting your work -- out there.

Kim Van Sickler said...

So you won! Congrats! You ended up getting an agent to look at your full MS, right? And you will post what ultimately happens with that MS? Best of luck!

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